The Point of Tipping

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
I am visiting my hometown for a couple weeks, and let me tell ya. I am getting it like a millennial and I have tried my hardest to distance myself from my peers but there are some sticking points. I went to the supermarket with my grandmother. I don’t know if you can call this supermarket a small business, let’s call it a mom and pop. I was with my grandmother getting ready to spend my food stamps that I got from the big city. As we were shopping through the very small store, I saw some folded up pieces on green paper right there on the floor.
There’s nothing like finding cash, it’s like finding gold. It’s like “Did that girl really take all her clothes off in front of me just now?” In these kind of situations I know exactly what to do, I had found $20 a couple months earlier. I calmly pulled my shopping card to the spot and stepped on the green fold and bent down and picked it up. These situations are never sticky, what am I supposed to do, pick it up and scream, “Who dropped $25 right here on the floor?” So anyway just like that I went from broke to not broke.
So that day or the next, I went to a bar to watch Champions League Soccer, I had planned to get a beer because I love to watch soccer and drink beer. I also ordered a little food. My bill was $7.85. It was time to tip the waitress, I was kind of hesitant because of the economy and all. At the same time I didn’t want to earn or perpetrate a bad reputation. I kept wondering if $1 is 15% or more of $7.85, it’s actually $1.18. I started wondering how the waitress would feel about getting a buck from me. The media always hits us with that “Wow, one whole dollar”. In today’s economy there is no time for sarcasm. It was lunch hour and it was slow, so I figured a dollar is better than nothing. I don’t know how the rich do it in good times, and I don’t know how the rich do it in bad times.
The rich always have it, money that is. The poor have it rarely, or almost never. The economy is said to be in the crapper or headed to the crapper oh well. I can’t change some waitress’ life with my tip, only the rich can do that and they’ve done it before, Wall Street, Old people in diners, and even Kevin Federline, all go a little crazy with the tipping.